Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Time to Kill

Let's talk about something I'm not getting... oh yea, hm.


I made this amazing cake the other day, my roomate said he had to lock himself in his room so that he wouldn't keep going back to the kitchen to have another bite. That's how I currently feel about drinking...


I know exactly how it will happen;
I'll ask you to drinks, because today- a nice martini might calm these nerves, but since all I can think about is that bite I want- we'll probably go for some beers. You see, when we're drinking beer I can concentrate on the bite, with out loosing my stare. So we'll have a beer, then it'll start. The questions that get too close, the laughter the brings us to touch and the second beer that makes me want to run my fingers down your arm as you ask me lets play a game.
You'll run for the next drinks as I cross my legs in hopes to keep still, I'll twirl my hair and bite my lip in attempts to stay sane, and when you return the smile I'll bare will explain it all- and yours will match in anticipation.
I wish I could continue but the rules are up to you, so I'll wait in the most patience my body will allow, for the longest amount of time I can possibly bare, and I'll watch for your move in the humidity of my own desire.
Times up.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Not sure what to say yet.. Got it.
The last time I had a Secret Admirer I was fourteen, freshmen year of High School- I knew who it was. Alex Rodriguez, we were best friends and I didn't feel the same. Right after High School he met this super sweet girl and married promptly after- I think he was the first in our class to get married, and last to loose his virginity.
 I must say, it couldn't of come at a better time. Sitting in bed yesterday finally relaxing after an early morning of doing my hair, baking cupcakes (new recipe), cleaning the house, and organizing my work for Monday I come to find that the person that broke me, has now fully replaced me.
I can't even describe the lack of air, gasping and literal break down I had in the span of 5 seconds. And while everyone was busy with their families I cried to myself. Till I saw it, "Anonymous said..."  I starred at it for a little bit in disbelief, how could I be crying my eyes out for something that was happening a thousand miles away when I have the world at my feet. 
This winter was so long, and the grey of it was still smeared on my back, but now the Spring has sprung and I do feel like I'm in technicolor. High Def. 

I don't want to be BROKEN anymore.
Please... everytime I feel great, something drags me back there. And I realize how broken I still am.