My Family

There are certain people that share your DNA, and then there's family.
When your nearing the end of an era- it's only normal to deny it. So you'll make little steps towards the corners of the playground but you convince yourself "its doesn't mean I'm going to step out". The funny thing is there's nobody to literally pull you by your arms out of the sand box- only you can do that. 
You can sit there till your completely alone- shit you can sit there till the new group of kids come in, but in your heart and mind- you'll always know its not the same.

So there's a few ways to deal with this moment, say nothing and sneak out in the middle of the night (like i did), make a big parade of your new comings and warn everyone on a daily of 'the change that will be coming' or sit and wait for the next best thing, and be happy with that.
Because the simplicities of not having to choose, not having to grow up can have its amenities. For example, a bliss that only the ignorance of your age and current state of mind can give you- perfection in the ability to just 'not think about it'. Or my favorite- procrastination. Because unlike that shitty math class we all hated, procrastinating in your life decisions don't have a 'final exam' point where you get your shit together or fail- the procrastination you so undoubtedly are aware of in your life will only lead to-well. more of what you already got. and thats not alot.

So we fight it, disagree with it, run from it, and most of the time- just ignore it. conscienceless awaiting for someone to pull us from the arm out of it. but like I said, no ones going to do that for you- you can only do it for yourself.

When the days go by with me not moving from a 5 foot radius of my bed I can't help to think back and wonder what it would be like if I never left that box. Well, I'd still have all of you. But it wouldn't be the same, like trying to bring someone back to life that has been decaying in the ground for a few years now- nothing would be the same.

My dad loves to randomly ask me "so would you ever come back?" the first and constant thought in my mind is "back to what?" 
An era is defined as a long period of time delimited to a start event and an end event, I think though the end event is still different for all of us, the start is something we could all agree on. 
The love that made us a family, a family we cried with, loved with, grew with- and eventually began to grow with out. 
The great thing about a family is no matter where we are or how long its been since our last talk- we'll always be a family. And if the memories begin to fade, or replaced with the new- the faces will never change and our hearts will always have a place for the start and end of this era. 

It just makes the reunions something to talk about.

with all my love, to those people i love. 
my family.